Resources
Tips for staying within your window of tolerance
You can try any of these techniques to support you when you feel you’re leaving your window of tolerance. But using these strategies as a regular practice, even when you’re not triggered, can also help to widen your window.
- Mindfulness. Stay in the here and now. Notice how you’re feeling in response to certain stimuli. What’s stressing you out most days? What memories are popping up? Tuning into yourself – with curiosity rather than criticism – can gradually help you become aware of your triggers. Knowing your triggers is the first step to managing them, rather than acting from them.
- Breathing. Deep breathing from your belly can help ground you and bring you back to yourself if you feel you’re being triggered. Try breathing in through the nose for a count of 4, then breathing out through the mouth for a count of 5. Do this for a few minutes. The longer out-breath will help to calm you.
- Physical activity. Moving around can help shift your energy and regulate your arousal levels. If you’re more prone to hyper-arousal then some vigorous physical activity may help you to purge some of the anger or overwhelm you’re experiencing. From a hype-aroused state, some gently stimulating exercises – such as rocking yourself – may help you bring you back to yourself.
- Soothe your senses. Think about things to look at, touch, smell, hear and taste. What soothes you in the moment will be unique to each individual. You may want to listen to calming music, light a scented candle, look through old photos of beautiful scenery, make your favourite food, or soothe yourself with a blanket. Find what works for you.
- Challenge your thoughts. If you’re able to catch a negative thought, try to challenge it with a more positive one. Imagine what a good friend would say to you. Try to hear that kinder voice in your head to balance out any negative critical thoughts.
- Write things down. Grab a pen and paper when you’re feeling stressed and about to blow your top. Writing from a stressed place can help to process your thoughts and feelings. The act of writing things down can feel cathartic. Writing can also help you gain perspective on what you’re feeling, drawing you back into a more rational frame of mind within your window of tolerance.
